June 20, 2002
A solution

WARNING: This post is a diatribe. While the language is not offensive, the thoughts expressed within may offend some. If you have delicate sensibilities, please skip to the next post, or hit the “back” button on your browser.

After hearing about yet another Islamakazi in Israel, I have come to the conclusion that the only appropriate course of action for Israel is to remove all Israeli settlers from the Gaza Strip, which will become the state of Palestine. The wall that separates the Gaza from Israel shall be sealed (no entrances into Israel from Gaza) and shall be patrolled to prevent incursions.

The West Bank, from which all of the bombers originate, shall be formally annexed into the state of Israel. Residents of the West Bank will be offered a choice between Israeli citizenship and deportation. Those who stay (who are not likely to be those who plan to blow themselves up) will be afforded the full range of civil rights accorded all Israeli citizens. Leaders of groups such as Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and Hizbollah are exempted from this—they (and their families) shall be deported, regardless of their stated desires. The Mossad know who these people are, and undoubtedly will be able to provide documentation to the outraged UN.

The schools present a particularly vexing problem, as they currently serve as a breeding ground for hate and glorification of martyrdom. Palestinian textbooks (all of them, regardless of subject) must be destroyed. New textbooks, in Arabic where applicable, that are not propaganda, shall be published as soon as possible. It may be too late to salvage some of the older students, but hopefully, teaching students instead of indoctrinating them will break the fetish of martyrdom.

Freedom of religion shall be respected, but since Islam is a religion of peace, incitement to violence shall result in the arrest and jailing of any cleric who advocates bombing or attacks upon other citizens of Israel, whether they are Muslim, Jew, or Christian.

There will be no negotiation, with Arafat or with any other “Palestinian” organization. The Palestinians can form whatever society they wish in their country, with its scenic view of the Mediterranean Sea. One can rest assured that they will receive plenty of developmental aid from Europe, and since it will be dedicated to a relatively small area, they will be able to create an Islamic paradise for all Palestinians.

posted on June 20, 2002 07:31 PM


Won't work, Timekeeper. There are about 2.1 million Arabs living in the West Bank. All they'd have to do is accept Israeli citizenship, and they could probably, along with the Arabs already citizens, vote the state of Israel out of existence.

posted by Bill Quick on June 20, 2002 10:45 PM

Post a comment

Email Address:



Remember your info?

Back to Horologium